IDOG

Good morning. Currently I am far from my dog, Romeo. Sometimes when I travel I wonder if he thinks disappearing is just another of my great powers that makes me the undisputed pack leader. He must sit staring at wife as if to say... "Please tell him that I get it. He rules and can do anything. Tell him that I understand that he can disappear at a moments notice and if he comes back I will treat him with the reverence he deserves. Please just tell him so that he will return and we can play sit, stay, pee and have beef knuckles like the old days. You know. Two days ago."

Hopefully, someday Apple will release the revolutionary new product that allows you to communicate with your beloved hairy pal... IDOG. Then and only then I will be able to explain the importance of my absence due to business travel and how that equals more beef knuckles. Then and only then will I be able to convey why I think he would be famous if he would just try to use a toilet and how that would lead to huge sponsorship deals with Charmin and even more beef knuckles. Then and only then will I be able to explain why Mama and Papa close the door to the bedroom a couple of times a week and don't let him in for up to four and a half minutes, no matter how much it sounds like one of us needs his help.

Well, in the absence of IDOG, Romeo and I have to guess at what one another really means leading to wacky misunderstandings. like the time I was very frustrated by my computer and kept repeating a four letter word that he thought meant to "sit" so he began to panic as I became more agitated and finally barked at me as if to say. "Dude! I feel like I've lost my mind I can't possible be more seated! You're not even lookin' at me! If you don't straighten this out I'm going to lose it and start eating the cat turds again."

Poor Dog Dork

Dog Nerd

My dog is mostly Australian Shepherd (working dog). He was evaluated and I was told that he has the intellect of a two and half year old human child. Now I understand why he doesn't fit in with the other dogs and wears a pocket protector. He's way smarter than them. He is like the ultimate dog nerd.

"Hey fellas! What say we go find some human people and do exactly as they say! That's exhilarating!...Guys?"

"No thanks geek! We're gonna eat our own crap and run around aimlessly."

What do I tell him when he comes to me and says;

"Owner, I fear that the other dogs don't enjoy my company. Maybe it's that I am a working dog. Perhaps they envy me because I have a job and a 401K. They just chase that green round thing endlessly and they never want to play "sit, stay, speak" with me. It's as if the care more for that inanimate fuzzy green orb than their fellow canine. I know! I'll dress in a big, round, fuzzy green suit then maybe they will run along with me and be 'good dogs'."

Poor dog dork.