IDOG

Good morning. Currently I am far from my dog, Romeo. Sometimes when I travel I wonder if he thinks disappearing is just another of my great powers that makes me the undisputed pack leader. He must sit staring at wife as if to say... "Please tell him that I get it. He rules and can do anything. Tell him that I understand that he can disappear at a moments notice and if he comes back I will treat him with the reverence he deserves. Please just tell him so that he will return and we can play sit, stay, pee and have beef knuckles like the old days. You know. Two days ago."

Hopefully, someday Apple will release the revolutionary new product that allows you to communicate with your beloved hairy pal... IDOG. Then and only then I will be able to explain the importance of my absence due to business travel and how that equals more beef knuckles. Then and only then will I be able to convey why I think he would be famous if he would just try to use a toilet and how that would lead to huge sponsorship deals with Charmin and even more beef knuckles. Then and only then will I be able to explain why Mama and Papa close the door to the bedroom a couple of times a week and don't let him in for up to four and a half minutes, no matter how much it sounds like one of us needs his help.

Well, in the absence of IDOG, Romeo and I have to guess at what one another really means leading to wacky misunderstandings. like the time I was very frustrated by my computer and kept repeating a four letter word that he thought meant to "sit" so he began to panic as I became more agitated and finally barked at me as if to say. "Dude! I feel like I've lost my mind I can't possible be more seated! You're not even lookin' at me! If you don't straighten this out I'm going to lose it and start eating the cat turds again."

Poor Dog Dork